Tag Archives: poop
Phew…something stinks!
I’m going to try to not always talk about poop and vomit, but sometimes shit happens. If you are thinking, I don’t want to hear another mommy’s baby poop story. This one has a twist ending, so stay with me.
For the past week, Maggie has had bad gas. This really bummed me out because before this week she wasn’t that smelly, but apparently life changes. I was constantly having to check to see if she had pooped and she hadn’t, she is just a tooter. So gross!
Well, yesterday morning AJ had said he wanted to get up and play with Maggie before work, so I would walk Gilmore. Apparently, I’m pretty attached to her because I jumped out of bed first so I could sing her “Good Morning” (from Singing in the Rain, because my mom sang it to me every morning). So here I go…tra la la la la into her bedroom, I open the door and I nearly passed out. Her room smelled so bad, I started to gag and my eyes watered. My motherly instinct kicked in, so I walked to her crib to see her smiling and began to sing our song. I made it through two lines and then called for AJ to come get her. There was no way I was changing her diaper, especially since he wanted to have the 6-8am morning playtime with her. So he comes in and is disgusted by the smell. The smell was so bad, we couldn’t believe it. Was she sick? I mean seriously, this can’t be what we have to wake up to every morning.
While AJ changes her diaper (BTW not really bad) I ran around the house opening every window possible, I had to get some cross ventilation happening. After an hour the smell seemed to be gone. AJ got ready for work, while I fed Maggie her cereal. While she is eating, she toots and giggles and I”m in a state of panic. The smell is going to return! AJ comes up stairs and is in awe at how bad it smells again. At that moment he makes a remark and says “The weird thing is there seems to be a cloud layer on our stairs”. This peeks my interest. That seems a little extreme, it was just one toot. Either we have the Guiness Book of World records smelly tooter or honestly I’m not sure.
So I decide to go smell her room to see if it is okay, and it is worse. This is when I realized, what was happening. Something is wrong with our sewer. AJ has to leave for work, so he told me to go check the basement and call the plumber if it seems like that is the problem. I do and it is. The smell is so bad I can’t even walk into the basement.
Of course, now I’m freaking out that she slept all night with those fumes. All I can think of is, I hope she doesn’t get brain damage because of this. Then I feel worse because not only could this have hurt her, we were blaming her for the smell. I’ll be honest there were a few moments that I looked at my precious child and thought, “You’re so gross”! Thankfully we only have to pay to fix our sewer and our child is back to being 95% adorable 5% fussy.
Have you ever blamed your child for something that was not their fault at all? Tell me about it in the comments.
The gross factor
I’m positive every parent has a moment that their baby/child truly grosses them out. During the last 7 months there have been some moments that should have completely disgusted me, but I’ve been blinded by love. Most of the time these moments were so nasty, it was laughable. I’ll just name a few highlights, projectile vomit with mucus running down the face(minor disgust), explosive poop, poop soup diapers, and the oh so weird…poop lava flow during a diaper change. For some reason, none of these made me want to vomit.
Alas it has finally happened, this week we have hit a new milestone and I’m not excited about it. Maggie has learned to swish her solid food around in her mouth. I can hear the food swimming between her gums, tongue and cheeks. She loves it. The face is that of a person sampling a fine wine, inquisitive and at last pleased. I’m not sure what it is, but every time she does this, I begin to gag. Maybe its the thought of pureed peas and brown rice swishing around her mouth, I really don’t know. I’m sure this seems silly to you. Yes there have been a lot of poopy situations that should have sent me running to the toilet to vomit, but I was prepared (as much as I could be) for the poop. But this…Ugh!
Of course, she is still the most precious thing in the world, but the pureed food swishing has to stop. I can’t take it. I’m only human.
I’m drowning in poop
Recently I went to brunch with some girlfriends and Maggie. Everything was great. I was hearing about their drunken debacles from the night before and then decided to tell a story about something funny that happened to me. A story about poop.
I’m not going to get into details of my poop story, needless to say everyone laughed, albeit politely. Then my bff Leslie brings to my attention that I’m talking about poop. Yep, it has happened. I never thought it would, but I now openly discuss baby poop, dog poop and the fact that I barely have the time for myself. Well, the scoop on poop ends here.
At least for now, unless you ask. All you need to know is…most days Maggie poops and I have to clean her gdiaper. Most days our dog Gilmore poops and I have to pick it up with a baggie. It is surprising that I’m not covered in poop by the end of the day. Now if only I could train both of them to use the bathroom, I’d be in heaven.
Of course I think Maggie will learn to use the toilet before Gilmore, but I’d love it if he tried. 
Hiking therapy and butt toning
I had a realization that I am a hiking enthusiast. It’s not like this should have been a surprise. I based my entire decision of buying a baby stroller around the question of “Which stroller is best for the hiking trails?” Answer: Bob Revolution Stroller. One caveat is, a stroller good for hiking trails doesn’t mean a stroller that is easy to push up a hiking trail. I guess that’s kind of the point, but phew, it’s a serious workout! Exciting and exhausting at the same time.
For 10 years, I lived in Hollywood and would walk to hike Runyan Canyon on a daily basis. When I was feeling overly ambitious I would run the trails. It gave me clarity and peace every time I did it. It’s my therapy. There are times I must’ve looked like a crazy lady walking up the canyon, crying to myself, but by the end of the hike I was better. Of course, there are the actual crazies, such as my drag queen schizo neighbor Pam, that really draws attention. Truth be told, not many people noticed me on those days.
Say what you want about LA, but for most of us that live here and love to be outdoors, the hiking trails are our nirvana. It’s a great place to meet a friend, get a workout and bond. The trails are therapeutic and they don’t smell like the city. They smell like the outdoors, you know “poop and trees”, but in a good way.
I now live closer to Fryman Canyon and at first was bummed to leave the Runyan Canyon trail in Hollywood. But now, I love Fryman. In fact, I think I’m in love with Fryman (don’t tell my husband). The hike is not as difficult, but you get just as much therapy from it. It’s amazing what a little bit of nature will do for the soul.
Today, I realized I’m not the only one who hikes for therapy. Everyone does, if they know it or not. With each pair of hikers I passed by I overheard one or the other ranting about their life. It’s not just hiking. It’s obvious to me, it’s “couples hiking therapy”. If your couple is your partner or your friend, if they are loud, or talk at a mere whisper, the outcome was the same for everyone. Hiking is therapeutic. Even if you are hiking alone, like I do sometimes, you can get as much therapy from the trails as the couples, it’s just more of an inward reflection. Let’s call it “mommy peace therapy”.
So if you are looking for some therapy and want to tone your butt in the process, I’d recommend getting out and hiking a canyon. It’s free, it’s healthy and the only thing you need to worry about is walking into the crazy crying lady…because she, and by she I mean I, won’t be thrilled about that.
