You know when the thought is in your head, “I can’t believe everything went so well”. Then you say it out loud.  Then you immediately think to yourself  ”You shouldn’t have said that out loud, you’ll jinx it.”

So as I stated previously, our first flight with Maggie went well.  Maybe I should have waited to write about it until after the 2nd flight, but alas I jinxed myself.

AJ and I leave for the airport at 2:30pm in order to make our 6pm flight.  Just like LA, New York City can have a tremendous amount of traffic.  Our worst case scenario is the traffic would take 2 hours and we would get to the airport at 4:30pm.  With a baby, I feel it’s important to be at the airport at least an hour before feeding time and an hour and a half before the flight takes off.  At least.  Any less causes unnecessary stress on an already stressful situation.

Well, traffic was bad but not horrible, we made a stop for formula, just in case we needed it.   Another thing that’s a no brainer to me – have more than enough food for your baby when travelling.  We had enough to feed her twice.  She never eats more than two bottles in a 6 hour time period.  Even so, let’s get more food.  What’s the worst that could possibly happen?  She has too much food?  I don’t think that would be a problem.  Too little, on the other hand…well, let’s just say, hell hath no fury like a baby hungry.

Even with the stop we arrive at JFK at 4pm.  YAY!  I don’t have to stress about security.

Up to the counter we go, happy, not on xanax yet, feeling good about the flight.  AJ gives the desk attendant our IDs and then it happens.

Delta employee:  What flight are you on sir?

AJ:  The 6pm flight to LA.

Delta employee:  I’m sorry there is no 6pm flight to LA

AJ:  Um, yes there is.

Delta employee:  No there isn’t.  There is a 5 pm and a 7 pm.

AJ:  Okay?

Me: (in my head)  WTF!  AJ!

Delta employee:  You were booked on the 5pm flight.  You missed check in by 6 minutes.

AJ: (shrugs and smiles at me) I promise I didn’t do this on purpose.

Me:  Sure.  I already know you hate waiting at the airport.  Don’t talk to me.

AJ:  We have to get on the flight, we have a baby!

Delta employee:   Calm down sir.  Let’s see what I can do.

AJ:  (looks at me)

Me:  Don’t look at me.

AJ:  (panicking)

Me:  (in my head) Grrr

Delta employee:  Looks like you checked your bag in on line, so that will save you.

AJ: Thanks so much!

Jenny:  Lucky.

Delta employee:  Good luck.

Good luck?  Oh, I get it.  We have to make it through security, and haul ass through one terminal to another one to find our gate in time for boarding.  WITH A BABY!  Now, AJ and I have been in some interesting airport situations:  We’ve sprinted through terminals in Dallas and Atlanta.  We missed flights in LAX, stayed overnight in Miami and spent a birthday at an airport Chili’s To Go (his, not mine, thank god).  BUT RUNNING TERMINALS WITH A BABY!  Not my idea of fun.

Now I”m panicked about missing our flight but even more panicked about shaking our baby too much in the run to the terminal.

AJ:  Want me to carry the baby?

Me:  Seriously, don’t talk to me.  Let’s go.

Here we are walking briskly through the terminals, jumping on the moving walkways, passing everyone, cutting off an older lady in a wheel chair.  Not my best moment, but I’m carrying a baby, trying to make my plane and she’s gonna need to eat soon.

We get to the gate, we haven’t missed boarding.  YAY!  We get on the plane and sigh a huge sigh of relief.  Now we just need to time the baby eating while taking off in the plane.

For those of you that don’t know, babies don’t know how to pop their ears.  So, in order for a baby not to scream during the take off or landing and possibly throughout the entire flight, you need to have them sucking on a bottle, pacifier or boob.  It’s similar to an adult having to chew gum or swallow, same effect.

Problem is, babies don’t eat if they aren’t hungry, they just don’t.  Maggie, only likes to breast feed if she is starving, she’ll take the bottle if she is hungry and only occasionally will take a pacifier.  So, for everything to work out, as a parent you have to try and time out your day’s feedings according to the take off.   We have.  Even the fact that we are leaving an hour earlier, doesn’t throw us, it just means we have a half an hour of leeway before she starts screaming for food.  So 5 pm is actually better than 6pm.  YAY again!

Everything is falling into place except I haven’t seen a Kardashian on this flight.  I don’t have the time to worry, though, because Maggie is starting to get fussy.  Already?  With a look at the clock, it’s getting close to 5, just like clockwork – she’s hungry.  But, we’re not moving.  Uh oh.

It’s 5:15pm and we are getting close to food time – still not moving.

It’s 5:30pm and we are sitting in the same place.  Maggie has woken up and would like to eat, now.  Would someone tell the captain we have a baby on board?

It’s 5:45pm, Maggie is understandably upset.  I’m feeding her and then taking the bottle away.  The captain has told us there are 5-6 planes in front of us, so it’ll be a few minutes.  AAAH!  AJ takes Maggie as I stare out the window.  The captain lied!  There are 8, maybe 9 planes that I can see in front of us.  AJ is now teasing Maggie with her bottle.  Giving it to her then taking it away.  It is kinda working, but not really.  I can’t really tell if he’s calming her or making her more upset.  I guess a little of both.  I tell him to feed her, she is crying, and I can feel passengers getting upset.

Luckily, the woman right next to us is an older Russian grandmother and she loves babies.  If you have a choice, sit next to someone who has had children.  The sound of a baby crying is way less grating to them than it is to the really handsome male model you’d probably rather sit next to.

The female passenger sitting in front of me decides to turn around and tell us that we should have her suck on something during take off.   I bite her head off and say, “That’s what we are trying to do!”  AJ politely says, “Thank you”.

We finally take off and thankfully, Maggie sucks down two bottles.  All of the breastmilk and then the formula.  Thank god, we picked up more food.  Now hopefully she will fall right asleep, just like the 1st flight.  Nope.  Wide awake.  Let the baby entertaining begin.  Anybody up for a round of Row Row Row your boat?

And that was just the takeoff.