A Twilight Thanksgiving

I wanted to write a lovely Thanksgiving post about having good health, a loving family and amazing friends, but I just can’t.  Not because all of those things aren’t true, but because I saw Twilight Breaking Dawn the night before Thanksgiving and it made me sick.  Not for all of the reasons that you would think, bad acting, cheesy franchise or Team Whatever.  Nope, it actually made me nauseous, so nauseous that I fainted.  Yep, I fainted during the movie.  You know all the people you read about that passed out in this ridiculous movie because of photo sensitive epilepsy?  I was one of those people.

I can tell you the exact moment it happened.  Here goes…SPOILER ALERT:

When Bella breaks in half from her first contraction and falls to the floor, I nearly did the same thing.  I had to close my eyes and I was just hoping I wouldn’t throw up.  Instead, I woke up a few moments later with my friend Stephanie, calmly freaking out.  She tried to get me to leave the theater, but I couldn’t stand without feeling light headed.

I think Stephanie handled the situation pretty well, especially since she was certain that I had a seizure when I fainted.  I kept telling her I didn’t, but of course I was passed out, so I didn’t really know what happened.   All I knew was, that I passed out and then I woke up drenched in sweat.  I can only imagine how embarrassing this must have been for all the teen girls that this might have happened to who went to see this movie on a date.  Though, at least for them, that date will be memorable for ever.  For me, there is no magic in Twilight anymore.

As Stephanie and I sat in the theater, waiting for my nausea to pass enough for me to walk to the car,  I realized one thing: I am in a personal battle with myself over the Twilight franchise.  Seriously, why did I see Twilight Breaking Dawn, when I haven’t even enjoyed the previous Twilight movies?  Now to top it off, I haven’t even seen the last 10 minutes of Breaking Dawn.  Worst yet,  I can’t see the final movie in theaters, because I may pass out.  It is so aggravating.  4/5 of the way through a commitment (minus 10 minutes) and I have to give up.  I’ve never been a quitter before, but Twilight, I’m afraid I have to quit you.

Because I fainted, it was suggested (strongly) that I go in and get checked out.  My family doctor wouldn’t see me.  Something about not really caring about my well being.  (That’s not what they said, but that’s what I heard).  So, I went to a new doctor just east of Beverly Hills.  The best part about the doctor’s visit is no one I spoke to had seen Breaking Dawn.  The nurse that took my vitals told me she wanted to take her six year old daughter to see it.  I told her she was crazy.  Really!  A six year old to Breaking Dawn!  I felt like I was going crazy.  Then the doctor came in and I told her what happened and even tried to explain the scene in the movie.  She stopped me and said, “Don’t ruin the movie for me, I still want to see it”.  Seriously?  What is happening?  I feel like I’m going crazy!

First thing’s first – I am fine.  Second thing, I don’t have the same problem that caused all of those other people to pass out in the movie.   The doctor I went to informed me I have Syncope, which basically means, I faint quickly.  I think the official diagnosis was stop seeing Twilight movies.

Okay, I forgot to mention that every doctor at this office was beautiful…seriously take a second glance beautiful.  I felt like I was in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy with McDreamy and McSteamy.  It was bizarre, but I’ll definitely be using this office for my primary care.  Let’s face it, I passed out in Twilight Breaking Dawn, I’m already crazy.  I might as well be diagnosed by Dr. McDreamy.

 

 

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